Bum crack down

c67b4d2dbf86e9820dcf323e21d2a776d0aa7b234a4a64da450fb0f54e6eaae2_1Baggy pants + underwear fashion.  I have one word for it …………… WHY???   I don’t WANT to see your pasty arse or your dirty laundry – so cover the hell UP!

So – you’re walking along the street, minding your own business, thinking of kids and summer and shopping, coffee and housework and other mundane and regular wifey type things.   Suddenly, you’re walking behind a bum crack.  Oh ohhhh Yuuuuuuck.  It’s the type of bum crack with a layer or two of undies showing riding down their non existant hips.

I HATE that.

On what planet does that look good?   Firstly, the type of guy (sorry fellas, it’s defs a guy thing) that does this is invariably, and  without exception, a skinny arsed bag of bones with lanky hair and a ‘couldn’t help it’ look  on his face.

There was a trend, I know, for low riding duds over low riding undies with the ‘Calvin Klein’ waistband sticking out.  I never could work out why since most Calvin Kleins are knockoffs anyway, especially when they say Calvin Klien.   But that was 10 years ago, surely?  Now, when these sorry excuses lope along the footpath in jeans that haven’t seen the inside of a washing machine for months, and look like they belong to someone 3 sizes bigger, you can’t help notice, like they’re your own personal mental space invader.  ERggghh.   I don’t WANT to look, I don’t want to see.  But you can’t unsee.sagging-pants

I’m just saying – do these guys think about how they look? and use….like….an actual mirror?  because surely if they did, they’d see the lack of belt and hips = jeans sitting around the nether regions in dire danger of sliding around the knees.  Surely they’d see the back of their duds gathering around a skinny pelvis in gloopy folds – showing an extremely deficit of gluteus maximus. Reminds me of an unpleasantly full baby nappy.  And mostly – do they  not know that  pants are generally used to cover up bum cheeks and cracks?  That in civilized society we don’t share our bum fluff with the general populations and that most individuals are not the slightest bit interested in catching a glimpse of their pasty bum cracks.

Here’s a tip – you out there who indulge in this fashion.  NO ONE likes it.  You look like a moron, and probably smell like one too.  Hoik your dacks up, fella.  Go buy some chinos in YOUR size and a bloody mirror.  And while you’re at the shops, feed yourself a nice carb loaded meal.
















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